So loved yet so al whizz,
Want to detach myself from this life,
Happiness surrounds me,
To sh atomic number 18 the mirth a face created
A mask that none will recognize.
A animate they every take for granted,
Slowly drifting, separating,
Situation stressful, want to end it all,
Metal blade crosswise the wrist,
The only thing that now exists,
Emotional torment released,
Physical pain overrides,
Not this condemnation,
No line of merchandise appears,
Getting deeper,
Cover the marks like the emotions.
Nothing is genuine all just the face.
Hiding what concourse dont want to see.
Back to smiling, laughing, joking,
Flowers blooming, birds are singing,
Together again, always the same,
False joy cant explain,
True thoughts never to be said,
Running through the mind repeatedly
To be alone, so quiet so peaceful
Detachment is worth pursuing.
The silent daze no one notices
Is it for caution?
Alone again,
The blade comes out.
Metal on wrist ends the torture.
The trees are dead all is lowering,
Ravens wait to take me away.
Im still here,
The marks are worse.
A lessened red stain on my skirt,
Still not deep,
But deep enough,
Next time will be worse.
A choice to make,
Erase your life?
Erase your shadeings?
Live a stay trapped in a persona
Do not live, detach further.
No one notices the changes.
Smile fades into frown
Eyes show no emotion,
The blank face is ignored.
All others are to a higher place and rising
The coloured birds take them away,
My ravens and I,
We stay in the dead plains.
Shadow follows me.
The dark center of a colourful cosmea.
The blade returns for the last time,
Light reflects the specie metal.
Pressing on pink flesh.
The pain is intense,
So relieving,
Emotions of jealousy fade
More red on my skirt,
The red does not stop.
Not...
The images in ur metrical composition are really strong, tis deep nd emotional. It probably describes how many peeps feel.
I really feel the detachment from love. The imagery is very strong indeed. An abundance of ideas are alike created.
Things like the dark center of the colorful world shows that even the most beautiful things in life check their extreme ugly side, in this case - Love.
I also appreciate the fact that you mentioned self-induce pain. I feel the pain and expectation beca wont my brother used to cut himself before, and it was quite harrowing. He was diagnosed to restrain acute depression, which is a medical condition easily derived from kinship problems.
However, I think the end of the poem was too extreme. When you use imagery like Ravens surround me, in that location should be more(prenominal) descriptions to show that they are not real.
I cannot decipher what they would be. though I suspect you wish to show that they are demons, delivery you to Hell. Your idea of gone is weak. You could have used a fable or similie to produce the same effect, but not so convergently.
i thought this very well writen, it really expresses how quite a number of population might feel. but you mustnt forget that if there is ugli there is beauti, and from vileness comes light, and there is no direct for redness inbetween.
thanx for commenting on my essays guys. in response to kingleonardo im not so much trying to detch myself from love but from my friends around me. my two best friends are falling inlove and in doing so im attenuation away. as for the ending i was trying to get at nothing is left but the darkness that surrounded me. i hope that explains a little.
imaproundmac: i understand there is also beauty in life and i completely insure but this was written in a state of depression where i felt there was nothing but the ugly side and darkness and the red is the blood that is the result of the darkness i was feeling. i hope this helps anyones understanding of my feelings when i wrote this piece
this poem is very deep and a little depressing i hope who wrote this poem and is true ablut it talks to well-nighone and gets some help
this was such a great poem, it captures the everyday feelings of depressed people that we sometimes dont notice around us, maybe we should open up our eyes and see that they are in need of a friend
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